Floods and penises

We had a flood through a couple of weeks ago. There are two long-lasting effects from it. Firstly, I learned the Australian phrase: "raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock". I like it, and have been using it. I will keep using it.

Secondly, the rain came roaring down the hill from three blocks away, stampeded down our back alley and under our gate, ripped out all the grass and topsoil, and then banked up outside the back door as it squeezed through the slats in the fence opposite. Waves came over the two-foot back step and flooded our laundry and kitchen.

But that wasn't the bit that has had a long-lasting effect. 

The rabbit hutch was outside the back door, and it got flooded. We brought John, the grey and white Dutch rabbit, inside. Now, even though it's not raining and his hutch has dried, he's still living inside. He lives in the bathroom at night, so when you're on the loo (see, I've read what Catriona wrote) there are two little, round eyes watching you. Not that it makes any difference because, if you've got small children, there's usually someone on your knee.

He's like rabbit television. The neighbours drop off little bunches of dandelions they've picked for him while out walking their dogs or children. Lottie gets up early and we don't hear a peep out of her, as she's off downstairs with John.

During the day he hops around under the dining table, where his loo newspaper is (he's loo-trained), or noses around in the fireplaces and the soft toy shelf.

Lottie got him for Christmas a year ago, when he was the size of a cupcake, and named him John. Then she met Thomas, who lives down the road, so gave him a second name.

Simone, who lives up the road, looked after John while we were on holiday. She was horribly embarrassed, because she told everyone about the lovely John Thomas she had at home. Her young and groovy hairdresser eventually enlightened her. Which is unusual, because mostly it's only old people who know what John Thomas means.

(For any yoof reading this, it means penis).